Anxious Thoughts
"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, thy consolations delight my soul. The Lord has been my stronghold, my God the rock of my refuge." Psalms 94:19&22 RSV
Our family took one last vacation before school started where my husband works and before we began our own homeschool. We planned a week of camping and boating with my parents at a mountain lake about 60 minutes from our home. We had a lovely four days of fellowship, sleeping together under the stars and singing while my husband and son played their guitars. My mother wrote poems, I caught up on some reading, the children perfected their water skiing techniques and all seemed idyllic.
Then my husband had a water skiing accident. We made a rushed trip down the mountain to the doctor and x-rays revealed two fractured ribs. Suddenly all sorts of thoughts were reeling through my mind. Here we were suddenly torn away from our children during our family vacation, my husband was in a lot of pain, and suddenly, life was no longer wonderful. While waiting at the hospital, unable to concentrate on the hospital TV or the well-worm magazine in my hands, troubled thoughts of "Why?" and "How will I deal with things now?" kept going over and over in my mind. God sent me a text from my memory, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul." (Psalms 94:19) What a comfort this text brought, for my thoughts were surely anxious thoughts!
We decided that Tom would be more comfortable in our own bed, rather than camping, so we returned home. During that first sleepless night spent away from our children, I prayed, "Lord, what are your consolations in this situation?" And of course again, I asked "Why?" Then slowly, my prayer became, "Please show me Your will in this situation."
In my wondering and questionings, doubting and fears, God consoled my mind. Texts such as "All things work together for good." and "They that wait upon the Lord..." and so many others were a comfort. I read more in Psalms 94 and in verse 22 it reads "The Lord has been my stronghold and my God, the rock of my refuge." I was able to go to sleep with the thought that God has never failed our family in the past, He would work this situation out also.
Five days later, my thoughts aren't quite as troubled while I sit at the computer this early morning hour. We are all back home together, our camping gear has been stored away with the children's help. Today is filled to overflowing. My seven-year-old son is sick with the flu. Mountains of laundry await me on the laundry room floor. A writing deadline is fast approaching. This was to have been our first day of homeschool. To top it all, I have a temporarily disabled husband recovering upstairs.
Yet, even with this busy, chaotic day ahead, I am remembering that God has proven to be my stronghold in the past. Each thing that happens to me, shows me that I must and will continue to trust God for today and for the rest of my life.
© 1994 ~ Judy Shewmake