Many times in the past, we’ve discussed the stressed out homeschool mother and some possible solutions to burnout, like how to cut out extra activities, learning how to say NO, and putting our families first. All of these are good things, yet there is still something missing.
I know burnout and stress are real problems, because I receive your e-mails, I hear the panic in your voices when you call and I've felt it myself at times. There are many articles written about what we should do for our children, how we should homeschool, ways to raise our children etc. Many of them are very good and we can learn a lot from them, yet there is still something missing.
That missing piece is – YOU! Yes, you, the wife, mother, homeschool teacher, chauffeur, cook, friend, homemaker, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, Sabbath School leader, ministry coordinator, and all the other hats we wear. How do we consolidate all of them back into US and meet our own needs?
At first, it may sound selfish I know, we’re just not used to taking care of ourselves, but if we don’t take care of ourselves we will have nothing left to give to anyone else. I am suggesting that we need to protect and maintain our personal sanity. I’ve been working on developing three areas of my life. I call them the "Three Secret R’s for Mother." I’ve included Bible references so you can do your own study on this topic.
Refresh Yourself Physically: Some signs that you might be neglecting yourself physically are: always feeling fatigued, just too tired to care, or depending on stimulants like coffee, a soft drink or Excedrin to get through the day.
Some ways to refresh yourself physically are:
a) Regular exercise - “Honor the Lord with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Exercise will relieve stress, quiet your thoughts and invigorate you physically.
b) Balanced diet - God’s plan for eating is found in Genesis 1:29 and it really does make a difference. “You made my body Lord, now give me the sense to learn your commandments.” Psalms 119:73
c) Rest – It is senseless for us to go to bed late and then try to get up early. God wants us to get proper rest (Psalms 127:2). Studies have shown the hours before midnight are the most important ones for getting a good night’s rest.
Reclaim Yourself Emotionally. These are the warning signs of emotional neglect: a sense of being overwhelmed, outbursts of impatience, a desire to avoid people, and dreaming “if I could just get away!”
Some ways to reclaim your emotional state of mind are:
a) Solitude – “Because so many people were coming and going…Jesus said to them, ‘come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” Mark 6:31
b) Recreation is really re-creating ourselves mentally. Enjoy life, play with your children, take a walk, go on a picnic in the back yard. “Jesus came enjoying life.” Matthew 11:19 (Phillips translation)
c) Laughter – “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” Or like the Good News Bible puts it “Being cheerful keeps you healthy.” Proverbs 17:22
Recharge Yourself Spiritually. Some signs of spiritual neglect are: that nothing seems worth the effort, life seems futile or purposeless, and we begin to blame God for our problems and worry.
Some suggestions for recharging ourselves spiritually are:
a) A consistent daily quiet time with God. “This is the reason we never lose heart. (Our body) does indeed suffer wear and tear, but every day the inward man receives fresh strength.” 2 Corinthians 4:16
b) Worship and singing: “I will sing of Your strength in the morning I will sing of your love, for you are my refuge in times of trouble.” Psalms 59:16 See also Col 3:16 and Psalms 149:1-3.
c) Prayer. “Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation.” Matthew 26:41 Jesus knew life would be difficult and various temptations would come our way, so we were instructed to pray.
These changes will take time, but they will be well worth the effort when your are physically, emotionally and spiritually ready for the task of being a homeschooling mother (along with all the other hats). Be sure to pass this knowledge on to your children and you will save them the same struggles you may have experienced. God’s way really is the best way! ~Judy
© 2000 ~ Judy Shewmake